Клуб "Преступление и наказание"

Not So Innocent: THE TOP 4 Surprise Sex Toys, by Christine Colby

It could happen-you're browsing power tools at the hardware store and realize you forgot it's Valentine's Day. If it's too late to head to your favorite naughty store, MacGyver a sexy bag of tricks that will show her that her pleasure is your priority.

A few tips to bear in mind:

 Kinks come in all flavors. What is torture to you could be heaven to someone else, and vice versa.

 Always remember the maxim of the fetish scene: safe, sane, consensual.

 Play with a "safe word": an agreed-upon term to communicate "slow down" or "hell, no!"

 It's okay to laugh.

 Your mileage may vary.

> HOME-IMPROVEMENT STORE

Clothesline/rope. Keep her just where you want her. Make sure you can always slip a finger between the rope and her skin, and never use rope around her neck.

Clothespins. More repurposed laundry supplies. These make excellent clamps for nipples or even labia.

Fly swatter. Please don't kill any flies with it before using it to spank her ass.

Electrical fly swatter. The battery-operated version makes a great paddle, but electricity is not for beginners. Don't use it above the waist!

Sandpaper. Rub the fine-grain type softly on her nipples. Be gentle-you want her to still have nipples next time you play.

Vacuum-cleaner fan belt. These rubber circles make perfect cock rings-almost indistinguishable from ones you'd buy in a fetish store.

Paint mixer. Most hardware stores give these away for free. They make great ass-swatters, but watch for splinters.

> SPORTING-GOODS STORE

Ping-Pong paddle. Almost as good as a real paddle. Go for her "sweet spot," the lower curve of her ass.

Fishing weights. If you're the type of kinkster who likes to dangle objects from nipple clamps or cock rings, you'll find none better.

Chin-up bar. These are designed to hold the full body weight of an adult. If installed properly, they can be perfect for bondage, and no one will suspect a thing, even if you leave it up all the time.

> KITCHEN/HOUSEHOLD STORE

Spatula/wooden spoon. Many mixing and serving tools can serve double-duty as paddles.

Feather duster. The touch of feathers can be very sensual and intense, especially when she's blindfolded.

Candle. Cheap, white candles (look for paraffin or soy) are the best for wax-dripping. The higher you hold it above her skin, the cooler the temperature of the wax.

Rug beater. These dust-busters come in various combinations of wood and wire, and most make a decent spanker.

Pastry wheel. Use this little tool to softly trace all over her body.

> GROCERY STORE

Zucchini. You know what to do with it. Cover it with a condom, unless pesticides don't freak you out.

Plastic wrap. Pick up more than one box, then take turns wrapping each other up (from the neck down) like shiny, sexy mummies. You may need to (carefully) cut the wrapping off - preferably with EMT or bandage scissors, which are safest against skin.

> DISCOUNT DEPARTMENT STORE

Sleep mask. Any sensation is intensified while blindfolded.

Nail polish. It's a rare woman who would turn down a foot massage and pedicure.

Hairbrush. A traditional punishment tool. Don't neglect the bristly side.

Ruler. Another classic. Use it on her ass rather than her knuckles. It's much sexier.

Enema. Makes for clean anal play, and some enjoy the element of control.

Binder clips/alligator clips. Nipple clamps for those who can withstand more than a simple, wooden clothespin.

ACE bandages. Excellent for bondage, and you'll never have to explain why you're carrying them in your gym bag.

Icy Hot/Tiger Balm. Use very sparingly on nipples. Only true masochists will enjoy this on more sensitive areas.

Vibrating toothbrush. The handle makes the most innocuous of clit stimulators. Buy a two-pack so you have another to brush your teeth with.

Exfoliating gloves. Slip these on for a massage and give her goose bumps all over.

Dog collar and leash. Bad doggie is one of the most popular role-play scenarios.

> CONVENIENCE STORE

Strong mints or cough drops. Give her some curiously strong oral sex and make your breath fresh at the same time.

Razor and shaving gel. Shaving each other's hair-down-there can be superhot.

Cigarettes. Some fetishists adore watching a hot woman smoke, blow smoke rings, and even play ashtray.

Shoelaces. Tie a bunch together to make a small flogger, or use them for delicate bondage.

Emery board. Scrape one gently across her nipples for intense sensation play.

Bobby pins. These hair clips can be serviceable nipple clamps.

> WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE OR MAY EVEN BE WEARING

Neckties. A classic for bondage, but such usage will leave your tie all wrinkled, so don't use an expensive one!

Leather gloves. The feel of leather is so sensual; just caressing her while you're wearing gloves will turn her on, especially if she's blindfolded.

Leather belt. A great ass-slapper, and very discreet. Just be careful the buckle doesn't touch her.

Digital camera. You could plan your evening around taking your own dirty photos, and all the evidence can be erased later.

Ice cube. Temperature play is exhilarating and erotic. Play with the cubes using your fingers and your mouth.

Domestic servitude. Even if you don't show up with any treats, offering to play French maid and scrub her floors will please any woman.

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