All quiet in Joplin

[Format C]

Russian version

Turmoil dropped suddenly from the clouds. Yes, it was like a snowfall on the prairies in June.
But let's go in order and plunge into history. 
I had to stay at a motel on the edge of Joplin. It wasn't about business, just only to take a break en route. However, our Mother Road 66 became so impressive, that I could name it "Route 666."
Anyway, my Grand Caravan was covered from floor to ceiling with boxes of goods, I parked my car near the room from which I got the key. Pivate bath, air conditioner, everything was incredible, but the interieur really plunged me into the atmosphere of the seventies or even the sixties. It looked like a stylization.
I saw in the window some people who wandered back and forth and I wondered to know what they were doing outside their rooms. Obviously, they were revolving around some center.
Finally I figured out that it could be a utility room where the clients took blankets, those were absent in the rooms. Some kind of fashion of the sixties - go and bring the bedding! Why not? I just had to find this mysterious utility room.

"Hello, hello - is there anybody here? Well, if you're not, you're not, this train is leaving the station! So, I'll take the blanket on my own!" I thought, going into a small room, where inctedible things awaited me. I really need to tell you about them.
There was someone who threw a blanket over me and pulled me on on the gray linoleum floor. Moreover, I felt like my hands were tied with probably a sheet, then my pants and underpants were pulled off. Finally, I felt painful blows to my ass.
As a child I was a good boy that's why my parent weren't beaten me. So I had no idea about the device, used by attackers - maybe a belt, or maybe a whip, but clearly not a palm.
The worst thing happened when I was rolled onto my back and the invisible scoundrel started to beat me on my stomach and other private body parts, including the balls. Several good hits made me yell like Tarzan, oh my God! But the sounds were almost completely drown out by a cotton blanket thrown over my face. Otherwise, the whole district would be here.
The action stopped as quickly as it began, the hooligans untied my hands and jumped silently out of the room.
I laid on the floor for a long time, swallowing the air that was lacking during the flagellation.

"Oops! Okay! We won't respect ourselves if we dont punish these squirts in a brutal way!" Steve fired up when I told him about my yesterday's adventure.
We three were sitting near soda machines in a cozy cafe at a gas station. My old college friend, with whom I was in personal contact for years, this morning arrived not alone, but with his bride.
Where did he find such a pleasant, humble brunette? Of course she did not know all the details of my shame, because Steve sent her in a timely manner to buy cigarettes.
"Just tell me, should we call the policе," I signed in confusion.
"I don’t think it’s a good idea," my friend grumbled, shaking his head.

[Expat]

Thank you. I would translate the title as "All quiet in Joplin"

[Format C]

"All quiet in Joplin"
Great! I like this one, it is more natural in english.
---
But the given name sounds almost like well-known (in russion) "Everything is calm in Baghdad"
I prefer to keep the level of debutant in translation.

[Format C]

He flipped cigarette ashes onto the floor and added: "Well, what if, someone in your business has a grudge against you!"
Wow! Steve becomes reasonable... sometimes. I also thought that my work in sales could cause a problem.
I was solding, ironically, domestic radios.They were made in a small factory in Chicago, where Asian migrant women have mostly worked. Massive steel radio cabinet was ideally suited to the kitchen interiors - you can put even a hot frying pan on it! The boxes with such radios were always loaded into my Grand Caravan to the eyeballs. I delivered them to the shops along Route 66, because the tourists were eagerly buying everything with the label "Made in USA".
The local Chinese, who twisted their business in home electronics, hate me and my initiative - I told Steve openly about this.
"Hm.. Why we sitting like sheep at Queen's reception! I believe you took your gun with you!" my friend exclaimed.
No, I didn't have the gun, it was occasionally left at home in Chicago.
But I noticed fascinated gaze of the brunette and assumed that Steve was flaunting to impress her.

Steve insisted on going to chinese shop to speak with those guys - on my auto.
I like Grand Caravan. It is a really spacious vehicle that can fit a lot of people and especially the boxes. Howeven, I had to remove the goods from the front seat, because the car interior did not accommodate all of us wishing to ride.
Nikki was a thin girl, that's why she sat down between me and her fiance; I was driving.
Oh, I would like such a girlfriend! It was so nice to touch by chance her elbow and hairs. What a pity that we arrived so quickly!
The shop was well stocked: cheap consumer electronics, smartphones, accessories from the Heavenly Empire.
Mr. Lee, well known to me, stood behind the counter, wearing a blue lab coat. It seems Steve also knew him well, because he yelled right from the doorway:
"Hello mate. Listen, are we running some kind of kindergarden? Your boys took a little detour at the Carthage Motel last night!"
So, he took the bull by the horns without preamble.
The old salesman made a frightened face, searching appropriate words to answer politely, but Steve took from his pocket a black revolver and pointed it right between his eyes,
getting the safety off:
"I wanna see what you got in your dusty back rooms. Maybe, we find the whip that beat my friend... Now, hands on your head and go where I told you!"
The Chinese meekly obeyed the order. We filed through the open doorway behind the counter, it was dack but spacious.
"Take off all your clothes, shoes, and quickly lie down on your stomach right on the floor!" Steve added.
The salesman looked with frightened eyes at the girl, standing behind me.
The comnander with a gun shuckled:
"Do not worry about the lady, she's already seen the male striptease a million times! Moreoven, it's her birthday today - be kind and make a gift!"
It was funny to watch how the Chinese unzipped sheepishly his trousers, but we finally saw his skinny ass. The poor man, completely naked, laid down on the floor.
"Well, it's time to pay for stupidity!" Steve shouted, looking at the man, trembling at his feet, then said in our direction:
"Unfortunately, I am holding a gun and can't participate in the procedure. Who will flog? Decide for yourself!"
I felt the girl was putting something like a whip into my hand. What a funny, no idea where she got it. Seems, I needed to take device and do some work. But no, I couldn't, I was definitely not ready.
Realizing that she won't persuade me, Nikki
approached the punished man and skillfully whipped him on the ass. Quite artistic!
In a series of further blows, the Chinese moaned, squirmed and cried out.
It was uninteresting to me and even disgusting, so I will not describe this in detail.
But I couldn't stop staring at Nikki, who whipped with excitement, licking her lips. She looked like a gymnast with a ribbon, or jump rope, or clubs... better say with a free subject.
Ten minutes of pleasure to watch, things were so exciting for me!
But soon I came up with a terrible guess - our presence here today is probably recorded by a camera and the police coukd be informed.

[Format C]

We were again sitting in the cafe, near soda machines, but this time Nikki didn't go to buy cigarettes; she became a full participant in the conversation. Her angelic brown eyes were looking at me with mischief and some amusement.
"I must tell you something, man!" Steve signed, wiping sweat on his dack glasses. He felt guilty.
"Nikki and I, we had an agreement with the Chinese and camera was turned off, otherways the police would come in ten minutes, they are very strict on that... But man, the thing is that yesterday's beating in laundry, which caused you some confusion, was a setup, too."
"What are you saying?" I was really surprised.
"This is so. It was Nikki's birthday and I promised to give her for sweets some amusement. All female cowboys love such adrenaline games, especially when we are playing retro! Unfortunately, I am not a masochist. So we thought maybe you... might like it. Maybe for Nikki's sake, you'll be patient? Look how happy she is after all these exercises! Of course, we don't insist but what about the same activity in a week?"
Well, I can say that Main Street of America (as it is often called Route 66) is rich in adventure, but now I see all is quiet in provincial town Joplin.

I wanna definitely meet Nikki again. Can we meet in private? What else should the poor lady do, when boyfriend suddenly feels powerless in the situation!

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* Proposed "All quiet is Joplin" looks really better then previous title that's why I asked admin to change. Thanks for this!

[Herъ Хрюкиндъ]

Stoners. Stoners еверывхере.

[Format C]

Oink! Shh... Oink!